how to do anything (part 3)

(3) walk away from a whipper

Riding the ragged edge of your skill is key if you want to break through any sport, so brutal tomahawking and giant whippers are de rigueur. Soften the blows with these tips from from your local expert on falling - me.
Most biking falls occur at low speeds, while in clipless pedals. Proper pedal tension can help you unclip before stalling out. Bombing down some singletrack and going to lose it? Put your hands out, and as soon as you touch the ground, tuck your arms and roll to one side across your back to prevent a jolting impact to your wrists, arms and shoulders.
A hyperextended thumb is a nasty skiing injury, but a torn anterior cruciate ligimant (acl) is a real nightmare, garanteed to sideline you for a season. Avoid it by sitting into fall, which can save your knees from hyperextension.
To weather a lead fall while climbing, stay loose, and make sure that you keep the rope in front of your legs, to keep from getting spun upside down in a fall. Use your hands to protect yourself from outcrops but be careful of pushing too hard off the face - the harder you push off, the harder you swing back" advises John Long, author of How to Rock Climb.
To survive a fall while a hot air ballooning hold your breath, spread your arms and legs out to increase surface area and wait for the impact. If you bounce more than four feet on impact, it's curtains for you.

how to do anything

(2) Grow A Mustache

I consulted my future brother in law, who has been seen sporting the mustache on more than one occasion, to see how best to go about growing your own. He says "Don't shave at all for a few weeks. A 'guy's only' camping trip is ideal, but a camping trip on which you plan on proposing to your one and only will do in a pinch. You must allow the 'stache to freely extend beyond the corners of your mouth. There is a point when the hairs will start to interfere with food and drink, you will have to deal with that, use a straw or something. Once it is long enough for your purpose, carefully shave off extraneous hair until you are left with a luxurious mouth mane." He concludes: "Admittedly, most women don't like it. But those that do really do."

how to do anything

Just moments before our legions of loyal fans stop visiting our very boring, rarely updated blog entirely, I thought I would attempt a revival by dispensing bits of home-spun wisdom and dangerous advice in a couple of how-to columns. Think of it as a graduate course in adventure, fitness, gear, sex, sports and anything else you wish you were good at. It’s a big scary world - and you need to be prepared.

(1) Tune your derailleur

It looks hairy: springs, cables, chains, gears, grease – who wants to mess with that? But your friendly guide has brought along the Big Blue Book of Bicycle Repair, and the majority of your shifting issues (clacking, rough shifts, jumping chains) can be fixed fast, even by a theology major.

Step 1: You first need to determine if you need to tighten or loosen the cable. Shift up until your chain is on the smallest cog in the rear. Now downshift one gear. If the chain doesn’t climb right up onto the next gear, you need to increase tension. If it overshifts, you need to reduce it.*

Step 2: Find the barrel adjuster. This is where the cable enters the derailleur (most) or possibly on the handle bars.

Step 3: To increase tension, turn the barrel adjuster counterclockwise. To reduce tension, do the opposite. The adjuster will click, turn it one or two clicks an recheck the shifting.

*This is true for most derailleurs. Some, known as “low normal” work in the opposite direction, but the principle is the same. If cable tension pulls the chain away from the wheel, you have a low normal. If you have a LN, start on the largest cog and reverse the process.

My Sister

I'm here in Kansas City with my sister. She amazes me how incredibly on-top of everything she is... for just twenty years old! I remember where I was at at twenty. Anyway... just wanted to say hi to all you fellow bloggers out there. Love you all!

Back in Oregon

There is a fridge in the kitchen and there is milk in the fridge. There are clothes in the closet and the camp chairs are nesting happily in the living room. 3165 Wrightwood Drive is starting to feel like home. The sunset was amazing yesterday evening, we feel so blessed to live at our new place.

The final Alaska post

The last picture of the "view" from our apartment. These are possibly the most photographed trees in Anchorage.

The last days in J347

Our last ski trip

the last picture of the snow

the last goofy picture

Don't just laugh. I'm sure you can't look quite this hot while wearing ski boots and leggings.

This combo could change your life forever

and