Home for Christmas is a positive spin on a series of events. A series of rather disappointing events that has landed us smack dab in the middle of a remodel in the middle of an Oregon winter. The management on our new place here in Bend wasn't working out leaving one unit empty and another soon to be without quick intervention. It's kind of remarkable how quickly a perfectly laid plan can unravel.
Of course, as you can probably tell from the photos, it hasn't all been bad. Christmas really is best spent with family, a hot beverage in hand and a cheery fire nearby. There have been so many good moments that have taken me by surprise, bright sunny days and sparkling snow, warm home-cooked meals, hot showers, an incredibly choreographed Christmas service, new terrain to ski and explore, the neighbor's tortoise that likes to go for walks across the street (rain or snow) and the unexpected empathy shown by strangers are just a few that come to mind.
This latest upset is just another reminder that I'm not in control of life, that some dreams are left unfulfilled. A fact that has been snowballing unhealed and rough around the edges these last few years until it's entirely impossible to ignore. It's easy to say that God's ways are different then mine but so much harder to accept that truth when the paths don't easily coincide. I find myself in the tension of believing that God created me to dream my unique dreams but also realizing that He cares more about the state of my soul then the fruition of those dreams. In the Problem of Pain C.S. Lewis writes:
"The mold in which a key is made would be a strange thing, if you had never seen a key: and the key itself a strange thing if you had never seen a lock. Your soul has a curious shape because it is a hollow made to fit a particular swelling in the infinite contours of the divine substane, or a key to unlock one of the doors in the house with many mansions.
Your place in heaven will seem to be made for you and you alone, because you were made for it -- made stitch by stitch as a glove is made for a hand."